BEFORE THE DAWN - INSOMNIA
In the dead of the night Conversations said and unsaid Replay themselves in my mind’s ear Scenarios real and imagined Infinite possibilities Re-enact themselves,
to my frustration Leaving me exhausted
In the dead of the night Confrontations never had Revealed themselves
to my reluctant subconscious Words left unspoken take over A new reality plays out itself In my mind’s eye Lovers of past and present Haunt me I don’t know why
In the dead of the night I turn religious Under the cover of bedclothes I seek solace with a fortitude Set to fail with the rise of the sun Harsh words, foolish actions,
When the threat of the night is over
In the dead of night
I come out to taunt myself
My inner voice bellows And chastises Unforgiving. Critical tones
cut through sleep And deprive me of slumber Leaving me weak and useless In the dead of the night I hate myself for who I am, For what I’ve said and unsaid, thought and unthought, done and undone; Just for being me (Angie Walker)
"I will lie down in peace and sleep comes,
for you alone, Lord, make me dwell in safety." (Psalm 4:9)
Before I rest tonight, I thank you for your love, beg your pardon for my failings, and ask your shelter from my interior storms.
I place all of my concerns into your hands,
and I beg for the gift and grace to trust you even further,day by day.
I ask this in the name of Christ Jesus, seeking the prayers of Mary, his Mother.
as I try to sleep,
relax the tension of my body;
calm the restlessness of my mind;
still the thoughts
which worry and perplex me.
Help me to rest myself
and all my problems
in your strong and loving arms.
Light of the world,
enter into the depths of our lives;
come into the dark and hidden places.Enter the store-house of our memories. Hear the hidden secrets of the past. Plumb the very depths of our being,and bring us to safety
with and in your presence.